Friday, January 21, 2011

Happy With Where I'm Headed

   Last night some of you may have noticed a short post that quickly disappeared, I had written it while I drowning my stress in Mojitos and it wasn't very quality.

   Pretty much the last two days were hell for me. 

   A little Background:
        I've been subbing for the past three years, since getting my bachelors in Elementary Ed.  The district I sub for uses an online system, I log in, click "search for jobs" and any available jobs will be listed.  Jobs are often listed days ahead of time for teachers who have meetings or other events they know about in advance, so I don't have to do the "wake up to a call at 5:30 in the morning asking me to sub."
    My first year subbing I worked almost everyday, last year (my 2nd yr) my son was in half-day preschool so I  ended up working an average of 3 days a week based on my dad's availability to help.  This year my desire to teach has gone with the wind and I only sub maybe 2-3 days a week for some extra income.
     With the online system I can try and pick classes that I've had before and enjoyed.   But since the Christmas vacation I had not worked a single day and figured I should try and get some days in.  When two days in a row popped up for the same 5th grade class I jumped on it even though I'd never subbed for them before.

     Cue Wednesday morning, I'm walking down to the classroom 30 minutes before the kids arrive.  On the way there I run into my friend who is also the Art teacher and she asks whose class I have.   "I'm in for  blah blah blah."   Immediately she gets a "good luck with THAT" look on her face and says, "Lemme just give you a heads up, they're obnoxious for everyone so don't take offense to it.  I dread every Tuesday morning that I have them.  Mrs. XYZ doesn't even know what to do with them"

   Oh yeah, it's gonna be a good two days.

      They were just as disrespectful as my friend said they would be.  Many of them would just look at me when I asked them to stop doing something and keep doing it or talk back to me.  These kids were in 5th grade and talking about watching the Jersey Shore.  What parent lets there 10 year old watch the Jersey Shore??!!?    I just felt very powerless to do anything, I had already taken away recess (as the teacher instructed) for some of them and they still didn't care.  I guess I could have contacted the principal but I did not want to cause a commotion.  The only good parts of both days was silent reading (they actually were silent for this), where I got to read my ACE manual (modeling :D).
     Both days I went home with a raging headache, on Wednesday I attempted to run on the treadmill after work, I made it 2 miles.  The bouncing up and down and the up tempo music (which usually gets me through my treadmill runs) only exacerbated my headache.  Any kind of blogging was out of the question, I couldn't even think straight.

     Last night as I was telling Matt about my day he told me to stop subbing.  We have already discussed the idea that I don't want to pursue a career in teaching anymore and the past two days sealed the deal.  It was never my life long dream to be a teacher, it just seemed a viable option in college when I was unsure about what I wanted to do.  

     We talked about sticking to my plan of concentrating on getting my certification this spring, working at the beach for the summer and finding a training job for September.  This makes me extremely happy!

    Helping people become active and lose weight has long been a dream of mine, ever since  losing 50 lbs as a 13 year old and progressing from barely able to walk a mile to running sub 6 miles.  I would LOVE to work with kids in this capacity and I think a lot of the things I learned while earning my teaching degree will benefit me as a trainer.

Sorry some of this was a bit rant-y, I needed to vent some built up stress and anxiety from the past few days.  

   Overall I see my recent experience as a positive thing because it helped confirm that I am doing the right thing for myself, my family and my happiness.


the dawn said...

so exciting that you regrouped and now have a new plan!

i teach high school...but i'm very much like you. i don't see it long term, but i knew in college that it would be guaranteed employment. i do love what i do now, and while mr. dawn is in grad school the schedule has been a perfect fit for our little family. but it's not for everyone. and teaching elementary school, i'm sure, would be the death of me.

it's so exciting though when you start to picture what your life is going to look like--especially when you know that its the perfect fit for who you are as a person!

Keri said...

I'm sorry you had a bad experience with that class. I teach special ed so in a way it is nice because I don't have to deal with some of those things. I am signed up to take my ACE exam at the end of February...I need to get a move on with my studying!! Hope you have a great weekend!

Big Daddy Diesel said...

Sadly, kids todays are not anywhere close to what we were like as kids, the reason, parenting, the society has become "its not my fault" attitude, sadly these kids are going to be running our country when we get old, scary eh

Jess @ Blonde Ponytail said...

I'm rally appy that you are following YOUR DREAM and PASSION! I'm sorry your last experience with kiddos hd to be an unruly class, but think of all the lives you will impact through training. Childhood obesity is a huge problem now, we need more peeps like you!

Cynthia said...

Sometimes it takes bad experiences to push you further into what you actually want to do. I'm at a point in my life where I'm moving, which means looking for a new job, but do I just look for a job to make money or do I actually start doing what I want to do? Which requires me to get my masters degree.
It sounds like you have a great plan for yourself and it is your dream and what you really want to do and that equals happiness :)

Heidi said...

I didn't know you were a teacher. Seems that class needs some very strong guidance. How rude! Sorry you had to deal with that.

Jeff - DangleTheCarrot said...

ahhh ... I remember the days when I acted up and a nun would slap my knuckles with a ruler. that really needs to comeback!

did ya get ur bike yet?

Melissa Cunningham said...

i am happy you are discovering where your nitch should be! sorry you had to deal with those 5th graders,(that really bothers me kids are acting like that btw...and jersey shore???????really?)but also glad that something positive came from that experience!!!!!!!!!

Rose said...

It's awesome that you were able to figure out exactly what you want to do with yourself. Eff yeah!!

Danielle said...

I think you must have been subbing at my school! ha. I'm glad you have figured out what you want to do and I hope it makes you happy! : )

Jason said...

Glad to hear that you found the silver lining in the bad. That is the best part of life. Finding the little things that make it worth living.

Today I was having a not so good morning and then this afternoon a man was asking for money. I told him no originally then seconds later gave him the change out of my pocket, got a message from a friend sprucing my spirits and then helped a woman find the perfect oatmeal for her AND it was on sale. Day flipped around and I found my silver lining.

TRI714 said...

All that being said, teachers have a real tough job. Good for you to follow your passion. i HOPE YOU are super succesful at it. You defenitely have the energy.

Cindy said...

Hi Katie, What age group do you like working with? I have to plug for Girls on the Run here...great after school program for grades 3-5 and they constantly need volunteer coaches. It would be a great try out. Good luck with your certification!

JohnP said...

Its OK to beat them. If anyone asks, just say they fell. Who are they gonna believe anyways?

You only gotta do one of em'. Take em' out back and make an example of em'. The rest of the kids will shut right up.

Just sayin' ;)